Wizard of Alz blog

We were walking into our primary Dr.’s office a couple of weeks ago, (routine blood work follow-up), When a young girl (early 20’s) rushed to help my LO with the door, (she walks extremely slow and with a cane). Pleasantries were exchanged and she continued the conversation with a question, “Do you believe in Jesus?” Normally I don’t engage folks who start serious conversations without any foreplay, but my LO will talk to anyone and we were waiting for the ever so needed caffeine to finish brewing. So it went like this:

My LO: “Yes, I believe he roamed this earth a long time ago” (Very non-committal)

Young Zealot:  I talk to Jesus and Jesus talks to me and he wants me to tell you, Jesus loves you!”

Me: (Classic eye-roll and waiting for the punch line- like can you spare Jesus some money?)

My LO: “That’s great!, I need all the love I can get”

Young Zealot: “He also wants you to take out your pierced earrings.”

Me: (I knew it! she wants the diamonds earrings we’re wearing; gotta give her credit, that’s a new creative angle I’ve never heard of before. She must have an account at a pawn shop.)

Young Zealot: (continues)- “… you see, it says in the Bible we’re not supposed to make holes in our bodies AND Jesus loves you!”

Me: Just as I’m about to enter this riveting conversation and “rescue” my LO, she says this;

My LO: ” …but I need these earrings, they’re my microphone and speaker for when I talk to Jesus!”

And now, while anxiously waiting for the response, (and trying to suppress my laughter at the same time), the nurse “bum-rushes” her out!

We exert extreme decorum while checking in and being escorted to the exam room, but once the door was shut, we all (nurse included) just bust up in laughter!! ; the kind of laughter that you can’t stop, even with the threat of “peeing our pants”!! The kind of laughter that makes your whole body feel good! After a few minutes, with tears in our eyes, we re-hash the conversation, and try to come up with additional one-liners we could have said, but none were as good as the “microphone”.

That was classic LO. She is so quick-witted and funny ….. I cherish these moments..

Disclaimer: I believe everyone has a right to their beliefs. I personally, am a very spiritual person who doesn’t happen to believe any one religion has the “corner on the market” when it comes to God. But I don’t really appreciate this type of proselytizing. Seriously, 3 carat tw (total weight), for you non-jewelry hounds, (both of us)  diamond earrings!!. She could have easily gotten a 10 spot for some food/booze/drugs from me.