Just do the next indicated step….

Having anxiety about the future, i.e. not being able to control everything because “you know….., I know what’s best”; is something I struggle with and pray constantly for help with that.  My mantra: is “just do the next indicated step and leave the results to God.

Applying for Social Security Disability for my LO was started late June by me just going online and partially filling out an application, without having a set plan on how I would get my LO to a Neurologist and for her to complete a very needed thorough exam giving her an actual diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease (EOAD). With that diagnosis, SSD is “fast-tracked”. I had previously made an appt. with the head neurologist of (U.C. Irvine)  UCI Mind, (The Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders), 3 months prior; in hopes of the timing working out. To be honest, I almost forgot about the neurologist appt. until I started the SSD application. Well… as I have previously written the appt went as well as it could be expected and we got a diagnosis. I completed the SSD application only to find out my LO would have to go through an interview where they would actually bring up her diagnosis. The thought of that happening almost made me give up entirely on getting that much needed extra income; but instead I did the “next indicated step”; go to the local SS office and find out how that could be avoided.

I found out that if I am the “Representative Payee” then I could do the interview! That means the $$ would come to me and I would handle it for her. Another anxiety riddled proposition: taking over her finances. Just remember, that my LO is desperately trying to hold on to her independence, even if it’s to her detriment.(she doesn’t realize it’s to her detriment). Her pride in her independence  is very deep rooted in her lack of family support growing up. (Per her words, since I wasn’t around then). So I have not “forced” the issue of her finances, looking and hoping for an “opportunity” to “assist” her.

A check came in the mail today for over 27k, made out to me FOR my LO! (Representative Payee). Good thing I was by myself when I picked up the mail! It gave me time to be “creative”.  I went to the bank to open a “payee” acct. and then came home with the “good news”!! and oh by the way… “the SS office says I have to manage the $$”. It didn’t go UN-noticed, as I hoped.

“What do you mean? I can manage my own money!!!”(lots of late notices, paying bills twice, not paying others, etc.) I made the Government the “bad guy”. She’s only asked me 10 times can she write checks on this new acct.?

Then I tried to further this along by telling her, not asking her that I needed to get some of the bills to be paid online from this new acct. Too much for one day….. she started with the “look” and I quickly exited stage left, for a walk outside. Good news: she was totally engrossed in the US Tennis Open on TV when I got back and has “forgotten” the “I’m trying to take over” thoughts; for now anyway……

The next indicated step….. will present itself, I’m sure of that. There’s a 2 week hold on the $$ anyway, “did you catch that ,God”. Just kidding!!!!


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