It’s been exactly one month since my last post….. I guess that might be considered a “good” thing.
I went on a 2 week vacation without my LO, (she decided at the last minute she did not want to go, numerous reasons, and I decided to “test” the waters on her being able to manage being alone for that long.
I put “post-it” notes everywhere. Take medications; clean the kitty box; feed the animals and eat…
I am the cook in the family. So I prepared food to be heated up and stocked up on her staples..
Report: she managed and is alive and kicking! A few pounds lighter but happy to see me! I think she realized she needs me.
I had arranged for a couple of friends to call and invite her to lunch, when she mentioned that that had occurred but she declined. She said she wanted to wait for me to come back so we could “all” go out together. She said, in a nutshell, that it was too much for her to carry on a conversation by herself and it would be much easier if I was there and she could just interject now and then. It was the same excuse as to why she didn’t go and visit her Mother (who’s in an Assisted Living- Memory Care) for the 2 weeks I was gone. (Mind you, she is NOT saying she has Alzheimer’s, she’s just “fuzzy” from the pain). But, I see it as progress towards acceptance.
The other “sign” of progress is that when I grab the keys to drive, she doesn’t say to me, “I can drive”, and when I set them down at lunch, she doesn’t snatch them up and saying she can drive! Unfortunately, what hasn’t changed is the micro managing of where and how to drive!!! Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the progress, because it helps living this nightmare one day at a time; all the while trying not to focus on the “long game”. If I focus on making today the best possible day for the 2 of us, then I think can manage.