I love Roller Coasters! My favorite is Space Mountain at Disneyland because it’s mostly in the dark and you never “see” it coming! Well…… that’s fine for pure pleasure but in real life I think most folks, (myself included) like to “see” it coming; it’s those unexpected twists and turns that can really throw us for a loop! I haven’t written a post in almost 3 months due to the ups and downs of our current situation, (Young-Onset Alzheimer’s).
Ever since making the difficult decision to put my LO with Young-Onset Alzheimer’s on a waiting list for Memory Care, it’s been quite a ride. At first, I was led to believe it could be 3-4 months and then rather suddenly, that it could happen very soon, (not really giving a firm definition of very). So, all of Oct and Nov, I thought for sure we were going to face the trauma of moving, but at least, I thought , “It’s before the Holidays”. Well, Thanksgiving came and went and I thought I better at least set up some year-end Dr. appointments, that I can cancel if need be. Completed all those, (she’s in really good health). The good news is that the facility is very good at communicating and giving me updates, (weekly); the bad news is that we are waiting for someone to die to get a bed. And all this time my “posse” is also on standby. I love you guys!
Then, I thought it seemed like a good idea to make sure my LO saw/visited with important people before she moves. Not that she can’t have visitors, I just “know” some might not ever make it. That felt like the “farewell” tour.
I’m comfortable with my decision, but not everyone I share this with is. Just know the decision was NOT made lightly. I consulted with several professionals, (medicaland psychological); my spiritual conscience and close friends. I am certain my LO will NOT be happy when she realizes she’s not coming home and there will be a lot of drama trauma but eventually she will forget, so she won’t have to forgive me.
I’m ready to get off this emotional roller coaster; knowing the next “ride” might be just as scary and long. This is LIFE, with Alzheimer’s, a lot of deep breaths and a lot of prayers.