This Alzheimer’s stuff is quite the journey. No one can really prepare one’s self for the twists and turns, ups and downs, “out of left field”..etc…. AND I have done a whole lot of readings on the subject. (Knowledge has always provided some level of comfort for me.)
It’s been a couple of months, since one of my Angels here on earth, “The Brit”, (as my LO calls her), informed me that my LO could not remember my name and that she asked her “what’s the name of my spouse?”. I know she “knows” who I am, but I can’t lie,it was with a twinge in the heart to accept she didn’t remember my name. Mind you it was OK for me if she didn’t remember YOUR name; ( you’re not as important as I am!)
Fast forward to today at lunch, she called me by the nickname her roomie calls me by, and then she asked me “what the right way was”. I clarified that she wanted to know my name????? “Yes” she says, “my head is really funny right now”. I swallowed hard and told her my “right” name and then 3 more times. I re-assured her it was no big deal as long as she calls by some sort of sweet term of endearment. What’s so important about a name?? And at the same time I trying to quell the tears forming.
It’s not like I don’t know what’s coming down the pike…. It just feels like a stab in the heart when it actually happens.
It’s so important for me to make sure knows she is loved and not forgotten, even as she forgets…..
3 thoughts on “Big Sigh……”
I totally understand. When my grandfather died and my grandmother, who had Alzheimer’s, went to the funeral, she wanted to know, “Who is the poor man who died?” They had been married for over 60 years. It’s an ugly disease.
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I love you, Rhonda. Thanks so much for sharing your extremely difficult and painful journey with me and the many others who also love and care for you.
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My grandma has Alzheimer’s and she has begun calling me by different names (momma, sister – she doesn’t even have one, cousin… even my uncle Kenny – lol!).. and sometimes she doesn’t recognize me for spans of time when I’m with her.
You’re right. You’ve braced yourself and you know it’s coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier when it happens.